By: DeNorris Rigby
(Samuel Buck bearing striking resemblance to fellow draft avoidee, Donald J. Trump.)
WASHINGTON - Candidate Samuel Irene Buck was found to have dodged the Vietnam draft citing “religious reasons.” Throughout his college years, Buck was said to call himself the “King of the Buddhists” in an extremely offensive attempt to receive draft deference for the Vietnam War. He went so far as to wax his head every Friday in the communal restrooms. He was also spotted by other peers wearing silken orange robes and bowing at inanimate objects. Oddly enough, his abject, cowardly racism worked! His claim to be the Dalai Lama bought him several years of cushy deferment, and a brand deal with an obscure toy company. If candidate Buck was unwilling to fight for the American people then, then who’s to say that he’ll be willing to now?
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